Useful Advice
by Hitokun
Summary: Teana needs some advice on how to proceed with her friendship with Subaru. Who does she go to? Is it at all helpful in the tsundere's quest for love? Teana x Subaru


"Hey, so what do you think's wrong with me…?" asked Teana. The redhead lay stiffly on the recliner, a pained look on her face as she questioned her 'therapist'.

The brunette sitting across from Teana sighed, "Well, after all you've told me, I'm afraid you've been diagnosed with Best Friend Syndrome." The room fell silent at the woman's words, the tension hanging thickly in the air.

Teana bit her lip, sweat drops rolling down the side of her face. "I-is there any way to cure this disorder…?"

The brunette rubbed her chin thoughtfully, her eyes closed in concentration. In a matter-of-factly kind of tone, she stated. "Oh, it's curable alright. Even I had it once and it was pretty easy for me to get over it."

Lurching out of her seat, the red haired girl hung on her confidante's every word, her eyes wide and pleading. "Tell me! Please! I don't want to be like this anymore!"

Backing away from Teana, the brunette seemed skeptical, but said her share anyways, "Well…one day…I was playing TSAB wars with Fate-chan, and that innocent and naïve girl went along with it. I was the commander…and Fate-chan was my secretary. I even had her dress up and everything…" The woman grinned lopsidedly at the thought. "It was quite satisfying. She screamed so loud, I bet Shamal probably heard our cries of passion from the infirmary… I feel sorry for Fate-chan though. The poor girl walked like a croquet hoop for a couple days…" The brunette shook her head, 'tsking' at her own actions.

Teana sat there, dumbfounded, her mouth hung open and her left eye twitched…just a fraction. "Nanoha-san…so you're telling me that I should seduce my crush hope it'll work out for the best! And was your tactic even considered legal?"

Standing up, Nanoha smoothed out her skirt as she stretched her legs. The white devil combed a hand casually through her long ponytail as she shrugged. "At least it _did_ work out for me… Fate-chan and I just had a sexual tension problem. Once we got past that, we finally started going out. By the way, you never did tell me who your mystery girl was. If you did, I'd be able to understand your situation more..."

Tana threw her hands up in frustration as she stood abruptly. "Argh…you've really been no help, Nanoha-san…I thought you'd give some real advice, useful advice, since I really thought you were the motherly type…Now, you're tell me to rape Suba-" Teana just realized her folly half way through, swearing as her cheeks flushed a light pink. "Oh, shoot…"

Laughter suddenly broke out in the small room, Nanoha, doubling over with a fit of the giggles. "Ha-haha-ha…S-Subaru! I totally thought that Subaru was the one head over heels for you, but the truth is that you're really a tsundere, aren't you, Teana?" The S class mage raised her eyebrows suggestively, snickering to herself.

"W-why are you using that word! I would've expected Hayate to use that, but Nanoha-san! You're really skewing my image of you now!" Teana's face was red with embarrassment and anger, wondering if the world had really turned itself upside down.

"Well, Hayate has been rubbing off on me these days… It's hard to find someone to look after Vivio, so we usually just let her go to Hayate's office to play. After that, we usually go out for dinner, or watch movies…" Nanoha trailed off, wondering where she was going with this. "Oh, well whatever's gotten into me, I'm sure my advice is suitable for your situation."

Teana groaned as she rolled her eyes. There was no winning was there? Dejected, Teana left Nanoha's office, wondering why she ever thought the White Devil would be a suitable source for advice. She should've known from the way Nanoha tackled Fate the other day in the hallway that Yagami Hayate had succeeded in corrupting the seemingly innocent Takamachi Nanoha.

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><p><strong>AN: Some random thing I wrote a long time ago. Reviews appreciated :)**


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